True life stories.

What's The Point?!

Life is just really bad for me and has been for a while and I want to get better"/.
I started self harming when I was 13 and I am now 14, I was having family problems and getting bullied at school so my so called 'best friend' told me when she felt like that that she self harmed and suggested I tried it, when she told me i was devastated and hurt that she would even suggest that but things got so bad one day that i was crying all night wide awake so I took apart a razor and cut myself 40 times from my wrist upwords and i never really done it that often only when i was having really bad days.

Me and my so called best friend had then stopped being friends and she made my life a complete mysery and told everyone some deep problems i was having or things that nobody should know and from then on i have been self harming every night. its been about 4 months ov every night self harming.

At the start it was things like eye-brow brushes and burning my skin with them and then i used things like a compass and then i moved onto the rasor and then it was standly knifes but it just doesnt cut as deep as i hope that it would. I know people's situations are worse than mine and i feel pathetic and horrible but i cant stop. cutting is my drug.

i have been hospitalized about 3 times for overdosing. i cried and cried because i had not died.

the school phoned my mum and dad and they were very suportive until i got home and they were shouting and screaming at me but they just couldnt understand why:/.

I am suicidal like every single night and i hate it. but the buzz when the standly knife touches and peirces my skin makes me realise i'm alive. i live for that buzz coz most ov the time i am numb, and nobody cares enough to realise.

My own sister calls me a freek"/. i get called fat and ugly every single day"/. my self esteme and depression is at rock bottom and i dont know how to handle it except for cutting and taking pills"/.

Too this day i still want to die and i just really want someone to help me. if you have any suggestions please email me...
jamie-leeclark1996@hotmail.co.uk.

Story shared: 26/05/2011 20:02:07

#919 View the comments about this story Tags: suicide - Hate - Fear

Comments

#1 by silentgirl on 26/05/2011 20:34:46 (id-4055).
i no how you feel, i used a stanely knife but it didn't go deep enough for me. you can stop and there are people who can help, have you thought about goin to a counsellor? it might help, i'm here for you x

#2 by Jamie-lee on 26/05/2011 21:27:29 (id-4057).
Thanks, its good to know that i'm not alone, i have a counsellor but its not really helping me to be honest but at least i'm trying but its not really going well shes trying to build up my self esteem and help me stop cutting but its not working"/. and they wont give me anti depressants incase i try and overdose. Thanks for your comment x x x

#3 by silentgirl on 26/05/2011 23:29:09 (id-4059).
i go to a counsellor aswell, i never used to talk but today i spoke for the whole session. my mates on anti depressants n her mum hides them jus incase she trys to od maybe you could tell them to hide the meds. anno they shouted but it's coz they don't understand it, you could get some info of the internet n give it to them, most of the info says parents not to shout or blame to person. keep holding on xxx

#4 by Robyn on 27/05/2011 10:39:24 (id-4062).
jamie-lee yah whore!!...everything will be okay babe promise i am here for you... <3 love you lots like jellytots babycakes :*

#5 by Jamie-lee on 27/05/2011 10:40:11 (id-4063).
well i hope things get better for you, she speaks about things that i find pointless though and i'm quite annoyed that she isnt giving me anti depressants but i think they want me to try and get threw it myself"/. but its just not happening its gettin worse"/. at the start they didnt shout but they get really really angry when they find out i keep doing it"/. my mum even asked me if i was attention seeking"/. xxx

#6 by Jamie-lee on 27/05/2011 21:16:11 (id-4072).
you cant make promises you cant keep:/!! you know as well as i know that i'm not going to get better!!

#7 by Alex on 29/07/2011 14:33:49 (id-4370).
Please stop doing this! :/

#8 by Microsoft OEM Software on 08/03/2012 09:30:25 (id-7706).
gcy3eU Thanks a lot for the blog article.Really thank you! Awesome.

True life stories.

What's The Point?!

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