endless fight
Im 40 and I never thought I would reach this age and still be alone . I grew up in a household were domestic violence was considered the norm and escaped when I was 19 - little did I know then how difficult it would be to walk away from the ghosts of my past and the years of uphill struggle that were in front to me but I did it degree etc found a reasonable job and a flat but it doesnt comme easy with the degree came years of self imposed insecurtity about my intelligence and student loans put me in povety for many years and the flat makes me feel so very alone its not true ! As for realtionships they have all been fleeting and I feel so bad about myslef now because I slept with someone who I thought of as a good kind friend only to be rejected straight after . I feel so very useless at the moment and just wonder if this is it - that life will always be a fight and that I will always be alone
Story shared: 02/02/2007 07:19:35
Comments
In many ways i envy you, you have acheived things that i yearn for ie: degree, property, in my life these are massive acheivements. You did that and these are things thousands of people are desperate for. So be proud of yourself, hold your head up high, remind yourself of your acheivements and be more confident, this will reflect on your mood, which will then in turn drive you to do something different, make that change so you dont feel so bad about life.
I hope this doesnt sound like a lecture, i hope its given you some hope, find that hope in your heart, im sure its there xxx
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