True life stories.

im feeling down

ive been feeling so down recently

my pet cat, which ive had for 12 years (im 16) is really ill and has been at the vet since last saturday. he's ill, but keeps showing little signs of improvements, but not enough for them to say hes recovered. they may have to operate which can be really dangerous. I'm so worried. I know people will say "get over it" but he means the world to me. I've had him for so long and hes always been there and, unlike people, has never done anything hurtful to me. my parents are divorced and ive been through some hard times, but hes always been there. im just so worried and feel so scared and down. i dont know what to do. i just feel so down. i just hope he gets better.

also im just so worried about my future, im going to have to make some really important desisions soon, like university applications etc.i dont have a job either, this really bothers me, because i really want to work and earn some money; but there just arent any openings for people of my age where i live. i also dont have anything specific that i can say i want to study at university, i dont have that musch of a passion for these types of things, and to be honest i dont really enjoy academic subjects at all. but i do want to be successful and have a good job, i'd love my own business someday. its all so scary.

recently ive also been feeling pressured to do things i dont think i want to do. everyone my age talks about how drunk they got and how they vomited so much etc etc. they talk about it as though its something to be proud of, but i just dont think it is, am i wrong? i dont like the taste of alcohol, or the effect it gives, and the fact its addictive. its as simple as that, theres no religous reasons or anything, i just dont like it. i feel as though this puts me at a disadvantage in the social environment i am in at my school, because i cant join in (not that i want to join in saying how i vomited everywhere). i just want to find some like minded, friendly people. i also feel pressured to get a boyfriend, even though im not that fussed with having one or not right now. if i met someone i liked then, yeah i'd like that, but i just dont fancy any of the boys i know right now. i just want to be myself and have my own ideas and morals, but i kind of feel like people may exclude me because of this? there are plenty of things i love, like music, gigs and art, but not many people i know like these things. it just makes everything harder. sometimes it really gets me down.

i just worry about my future and all the bad things that could happen, and all the choices i make. theres a line from a song that goes "die young and save yourself". sometimes i couldnt agree more! i dont want to die or anything, its just im going through a hard time.
if you took the time to read all that, thank you! i just vented it all out.

Story shared: 04/01/2007 18:27:19

#68 View the comments about this story Tags: blues - lonely - scared - worried

Comments

#1 by Sam on 06/01/2007 04:27:55 (id-406).
,, sounds like no1 really appeals to you really,, its not nice feeling isolated because of who u are. I was always quite like that,, everyone was always on about doing this and that and f'ing over all the other girls and whatever else and it just didn't apeal to me coz i wanted to find some1 like me to share all my intiment side with.. But I just lernt to apriciate other peoples activities and just try and enjoy there side of it all,, i knoww u probably do anyway but id say thats always a binder with people that even tho u dont do what they do u can see y they love it so much, as for finding some1 that apriciates all of u thats something that you'l always have to wait for and the better u find the ways to put urself out there the more likey u are to find them. That was something i've always had trouble with and still do really, but can't say it aint getting better the more i try. And dont feel so pressured,, if u've tried it and u dont like it then thats fair enough i'd always say try alot of things, but if they want u to jus jump in bed with some bloke pissed out of ur tree then u know ur gonna pass that one up, And finding alike people isn't something i've ever done.. lol i do seriously think there aint many,, but i just like so many things and jus keep finding excuses to try more and more stuf and i jus leave myself open to any new ideas. As for uni and all that,, i have personaly sat there and done what u've done and just not knwen what i wanted to do and gone to collage and done any few subjects i was good at, at school and i jus couldn't make myself stick at it coz i never knew what i wanted to do.. so the first thing u should do even if it meens missing going to collage first year is just to find urself a bit and find what u wanna do with ur self job wise and look into the things u would like to end up doing and see how u'd go about getting there and if u want it enough u'l get there eventually,, usally the happier u'd be doing it the more likely u are to get there and do it because its definately for u that way. But seriously, u sound like a lovely gal and i think u should jus keep pushing on with urself and get urself out there all the more and u should find what u want out there somewhere,, u'l meet new and more different people as u change places so just make sure u try and find who they are. Anyway, hope thats put a few things at rest for u,, and i ment the thing about the collage, dont jus do something coz its the done thing,, find what u want from urself first and make other people understand that if they give u hastle about it. Take care

#2 by Sam on 06/01/2007 04:28:26 (id-407).
,, sounds like no1 really appeals to you really,, its not nice feeling isolated because of who u are. I was always quite like that,, everyone was always on about doing this and that and f'ing over all the other girls and whatever else and it just didn't apeal to me coz i wanted to find some1 like me to share all my intiment side with.. But I just lernt to apriciate other peoples activities and just try and enjoy there side of it all,, i knoww u probably do anyway but id say thats always a binder with people that even tho u dont do what they do u can see y they love it so much, as for finding some1 that apriciates all of u thats something that you'l always have to wait for and the better u find the ways to put urself out there the more likey u are to find them. That was something i've always had trouble with and still do really, but can't say it aint getting better the more i try. And dont feel so pressured,, if u've tried it and u dont like it then thats fair enough i'd always say try alot of things, but if they want u to jus jump in bed with some bloke pissed out of ur tree then u know ur gonna pass that one up, And finding alike people isn't something i've ever done.. lol i do seriously think there aint many,, but i just like so many things and jus keep finding excuses to try more and more stuf and i jus leave myself open to any new ideas. As for uni and all that,, i have personaly sat there and done what u've done and just not knwen what i wanted to do and gone to collage and done any few subjects i was good at, at school and i jus couldn't make myself stick at it coz i never knew what i wanted to do.. so the first thing u should do even if it meens missing going to collage first year is just to find urself a bit and find what u wanna do with ur self job wise and look into the things u would like to end up doing and see how u'd go about getting there and if u want it enough u'l get there eventually,, usally the happier u'd be doing it the more likely u are to get there and do it because its definately for u that way. But seriously, u sound like a lovely gal and i think u should jus keep pushing on with urself and get urself out there all the more and u should find what u want out there somewhere,, u'l meet new and more different people as u change places so just make sure u try and find who they are. Anyway, hope thats put a few things at rest for u,, and i ment the thing about the collage, dont jus do something coz its the done thing,, find what u want from urself first and make other people understand that if they give u hastle about it. Take care

#3 by Tinka_SheDevil on 06/01/2007 04:42:37 (id-408).
girl tomorow i have a huge post for u, cos i been through a lot of the same stuff...
but am really tired right so, i'll post tomorow

ps... i like the same things u do... and i know tons of people who like the same too, they tend to be the only people i get on with....
and also u seem too intelligent to be a sheep in the crowd.... do ur own thing and as u get older, the right crowd of people should come to u, u might even meet them in collage....
but yeh anyways i'll post tomorow !

TinkyBells

True life stories.

im feeling down

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