True life stories.

i want to break free...

I am nearing 31 yrs of age ,but i dont seem to have gained the maturity. I feel will I ever grow up. During my childhood, my dad was so strict that I used to think twice before taking any decision of my own. The voice that would constantly run in my mind was what will daddy say...I had become so dependant.This is because he would watch my every move. he was so ambitious that he wanted me to be ahead in my studies always and thats why he would just want me to sit and study, study ,study...doing any other activity was not allowed... i would feel so bored sometimes but i would be scared that if i did anything else he will beat me. Even if i would be bored i would just sit in front of my book and pretend to be studying. Even after i grew up and when time had come to take my own decisions , i would be so dependant on my dad.
now he is no more, but my personality has shaped in such a way that i am not sure of the decisions i take. I am fed up of this and i have a very low selfesteem. I have become a very reserved person who feels safe in my own world. today i have very few friends but none of them is very close to me. I have had 2 failed relationships. I try hard to raise my selfesteem by trying to do something new everytime but I am not content.
I want to move ahead in my career as well. i am stuck in the same job role from a long time whereas all my friends my age have all moved way ahead of me in terms of their jobs and their personal lives as well. They have families of their own now and here i am single and miserable trying hard to move out of my current situation. but i am stuck in the same place i was about six years back. i have made no progress in my life and this is because of my low selfesteem, my negative attitude, my indecisiveness.
My condition is synonymous to a car whose tyres are stuck in a pit and no matter how much acceleration i give to the car, the wheels dont move forward but just rotate in the same place.
please can anybody help..

Story shared: 03/01/2007 12:20:15

#66 View the comments about this story Tags: indecisive - pessimistic - low selfesteem

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#1 by Sam on 06/01/2007 03:47:33 (id-404).
Sound like u were pushed into a shell at an early age and never felt the ability to show all the things that u wanted to from within yourself.. You'l find everything about anything you do difficult if u dont srat trying to get intoutch with urself like u haven't done before.. i can imagine the long ur pent up inside the harder it might be but u have to drop the negitive attitude and start wanting this to happen,, jus consistantly show urself the things that u've lernt about who u are and not what u do and really srt trying to find an outlet to voice the things u feel in the way that makes u feel comfterable. What u want is imperative so its not what anyone else is asking of u no more,, u've got to ask things of urself. And seeing the people around u consistantly bettering them selves will never be easy,, but u've got to go out there and find the things that are for u out there,, dont matter what everyone else wants, find the things u like and make sure u particiapte in them and find some1 that does and just talk with them and use ur bit of common interest to jus ease ur bit of a social barrier a little and the more u try the more u'l find it'l become easier,,, isnt a 4 month down the line and its all good job neither,, u'l be working away at it untill u got everything u want but atleast u'l be able to see it comeing. As for jobs and carear only thing i'd ever say because i take no pride in a big figure wage is just find something ur going to enjoy and be good at for a job and set about going to achieve it,, i've always thought to myself if i want it bad enough i ca take it whatever it is and its something u might wanna work towards..? Anyway, make sure u find urself and as u do everything shall bevome a bit easier i'd hope for u

#2 by Tinka_SheDevil on 06/01/2007 04:43:50 (id-409).
i have post for u... but am really tired, so i'll post tomorow if u get this b4 hand... lol

TinkyBells

#3 by oem software on 12/02/2012 04:01:13 (id-5945).
nKHxaP Cool:) I would say say it exploded my brain..!

#4 by Buy Cheap OEM Software on 08/03/2012 16:23:24 (id-8221).
rZ0X14 Very informative post.Much thanks again.

True life stories.

i want to break free...

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