True life stories.

The one who never belonged... continued from life of a troubled kid

Currently, I'm twelve years old. The glass is half empty and my self esteem is at rock bottom. The christmas just gone I spent in phsychiatric hospital because I attempted suicide. Seriously, its not worth it.Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem (so they say).

On friday 8th january 2009, I was overwhelmed and yet again attempted suicide. This time I wasn't sent to phsychiatric hospital, instead I was sent to normal hospital because I blacked out (that happens a lot after suicide attempts).

Sometimes I think I'm immortal, I've been through 9 suicide attempts, 1 attempted murder, 4 overdoses and 1 armed robbery and yet I'm still unscaved. I'm in perfect physical health, although not mental health.
My mental health was deteriorating quickly. I was told if I attempted suicide 1 more time I would be permanentely be put in phsychiatric hospital. The funny thing is, that would be so much better than living my current life. Atleast I would be protected from every single person who ever hurt me in life.

Right at this very moment, I'm seriously suicidal, I wouldn't be surprised if I'd be found dead within the next 24 hours. But do you want to know what keeps me going in life, the fact that one day I am actually going to die. There is no one who could possibly talk me out of this, and the only person who could is long gone now. Still you never know, maybe there is someone out there who could save my life.

Whether I do succeed in suicide or not really doesn't matter to me because either way, I'm never going to see my freinds again. So I guess this is goodbye...

Story shared: 18/01/2010 21:12:21

#590 View the comments about this story Tags: Hope - desperation - die - Pain - love - suicide - immortal - self-esteem - phsychiatric hospital - inspiration - mental health - hurt - alone - lonely - loneliness

Comments

#1 by troubled kid on 18/01/2010 21:18:28 (id-2136).
If you reckon you can convince me out of suicide then please leave a comment, thank you.

#2 by sadmum on 19/01/2010 23:12:36 (id-2139).
Hope you are OK. You have been through alot for a young person. I want to help you but don't know how. Please know that if a stranger like me cares about you, there must be people in your life who want to help too.

#3 by khansa jabeen on 20/01/2010 15:45:56 (id-2146).
i hate mymum cause i have 1 brother who is such a bitch and he picks on me and i donnt say any thing the first time the secound time he pissed me of and i swore at him and my mum was there she didnt say anything to my brother but she goes to me that why did you swear i told her he started it first sow my mum swore at me so i swore at her back and thats why i hate her to bits

#4 by mikki on 21/01/2010 23:07:03 (id-2148).
i tried and failed at suicide, an im glad i did. i ran away from home as well, i use to cut myself, crazy right? If you feel like your alone its usualy because you talk to pep that havent been thru this kind of stuf. thats how i felt all the time but it does get better, i can talk to my brother an he gives me an option. if you try an commite suicide again, think about it, my life got better i hope yours does to. please dont hurt your self :( people around you care an would miss you aswel...

#5 by Caitlyn on 25/01/2010 00:05:07 (id-2154).
i think life can be very dull and at certain points in your life and you just cant find a reason to go on i sometime find myself wondering but i relise im here for a reason and you are to.You have to find a reason for living and not for dieing and you will. stay positive you are young personal i hate people reminding me im . young when i feel older mentally . Dont give up one day you may look back and say to yourself i cant belive i felt that way. i know i did and im really proud of myself.

#6 by amy on 17/04/2010 01:01:48 (id-2393).
if this helps...
my friend told me it seems like you're not happy now but one day you will be.

#7 by troubled kid on 20/06/2010 23:22:32 (id-2521).
its bin 5 months and im even worse than i was before... am cosiderin on dying bye bye

#8 by Don\'t go. on 30/06/2010 22:15:57 (id-2562).
I hate the fact that there is people who will commit suicide. People who hurt you, physically or emotionally, are idiots, and deserve to be put into hospitals themselves. I can't really help you, but you MUST find an anchor; for me, it was my sister, who died, but for you, it might be a friend, or a parent, you need to find it, and you need to realise that life is worth living. Because if you throw it away, then you're as bad as someone who kills someone else.

#9 by Ren on 01/11/2010 04:39:54 (id-2952).
Committing suicide is useless! i mean come on, why wud u wana give away ur life for those that hurt u. u stil can hurt them bk in A WAY OR ANOTHER.
u can make life the place u always wana beee.. its all up to u.
so better not end up in a psycho. hospital or lying in the grave yard too soon, or maybe cuz ov u.

#10 by parents of this troubled kid on 21/11/2010 19:58:17 (id-3049).
We heard our child posted this story as a means of help, I'm afraid its too late for help as our child passed away. We regret we could not help our daughter when she needed us so dearly. We still love her dearly and she will be remembered very dearly. Thank you for your support.

#11 by A stranger on 24/11/2010 22:17:19 (id-3063).
I'm sorry. I wish that she could've been ok, but I guess not. I give my thoughts to you - it's hard when someone dies.

#12 by Izi on 24/12/2010 17:10:46 (id-3263).
I'm sorry too. I hope you recover from losing her.

#13 by Rshuggy on 18/04/2011 14:42:58 (id-3856).
Jesus loves you where you are in life. Turn to him in your moments of hurt and suicide. He loves you.

#14 by stooftefs on 23/07/2011 04:00:08 (id-4329).
Yes, really.

True life stories.

The one who never belonged... continued from life of a troubled kid

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