Knife Edge
No family. No friends. No one person to turn to. My life can be accurately summed up in those short simple sentences. It something singers and actors and writers have emodied over centuries. That feeling of loneliness, of despair, that feeling when you know your dear mother would rather see you dead than happy and alive. Do you know what its like to be called a whore, a cunt, a slut, a bitch and suchlike daily? Constantly? When your lying on the floor and you can't move, because every inch of you hurts. Changing the channel without asking for permission is enough to spark off a fit in my mother, and a beating.
Everyone thinks I have a perfect life. Clothes, looks, good grades, what more could I possibly want? All I want is a home where I can walk in and kiss my dad hello, and my mother hello, and they'll greet me back happily, and love me somewhat, and be proud of me. Not to see me as some huge weight that has ruined the family, that's torn the family apart, that prevents my mum from spending all the money on herself and going on holidays when she wants and buying what she wants. I'm blamed for the life I cut short when I was born. So why did you want me? You were the one that used to come to the house everyday, shouting at my biolgical mother to hand me over, and the real mother yelling back that it wasn't her fault she was barren. And then she would come to me, I was only a little girl then, and tempt me with the life I would lead if I went and lived with her. Like a fool, I believed her. She seemed like the perfect angel then, the perfect selfish angel, come [if one was to be cliched] to save me. The security, the happiness, the fucking bunnies and roses.So I followed her. Seventeen years later, it's not the same.She's sick, she's mad, she's insane. My fingers are quivering over the keys, I cannot type. She's outside my room now, and I'm scared she'll come in and see this.
Do you care for me? I have no one. No one who'll help me in my sorrow, in my pain. No one to be happy in my joyous hour. Will you love me? I don't care who you are. Will you let me speak to you, and empty this horrible feelings that I have, the suffering? Please, I've lost a mother, I'm going to lose a father, my sister doesn't care for me. Please, be with me. I don't know who you are, where your from, how old you are, whether your male or female. I don't care.
I love you.
Story shared: 11/11/2009 19:17:46
#562 View the comments about this story love - mother - Pain - sorrow
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