Can't get anymore hurt, but still hurting!
Think about my feeling as...when you can't stop your family leaving you, can't trust your friends, can't stop your partner from fooling you, can't get ur life back on track, can't get a good job, can't predict ur future, can't have a bady on ur own, can't fall in love with yourself, can't marry yourself, can't get a good job, can't stop yourself from growing old, can't change the fact of being a women, can't earn enough money, can't stop worrying.....
Being a 31 years old woman, I experienced a lot more than a lot other lucky women.
I didn't have a glory lucky childhood. My dad's an alcoholic, my family are poor, I was always bullied and everyone looked down on me.
But I was ok. If I never tasted the life of being as a wealthy person, I would be a lot happier. However, I married a rich guy when I was 26. Had a taste of being as a rich, attractive, young lady.
I was too young and childish. A year later I fell in love with an English guy and divorced my husband. I tried to trust a guy who's 5 years younger than me coz he said he loved me and we'd have a happy future together.
A year later, I lost my sister from an ancident, who's only 34 years old! When I experienced the lost of family, I just realized how important it's being with someone I love. And all I wanted was to marry my bf. He promised we would get marry later.
I was waiting and waiting and waiting. All I've been told were I was a Chinese and people are racist, I was fat, demanding and childish.....I realized he'd never marry me! There you go, someone I trusted and loved fooled me like this and what's a waste of my previous marriage and 3 years time!
Then my best friend told me he've been fancied my for a long time and we got together since last year. What a beautiful thing to turn a 6 years friendship into relationship?..........Wrong! He made use of our friendship and my trust to take advantage on me, slept with me and told me he do want a relationship!
Now I'm still single, but my body clock's clicking. I want a baby, but I can't have one on my own, I can't marry someone I don't love.
I'm still an overseas student in this country. I've been spending lots of money studying in the previous 6 years. Now I've no money, no future, no job, no bf, no time, no bady! I wanted to go back, but I'm still think about my ex a lot. And I don't want to go back and stay with my parents as I'm not financially independent....
It's my ongoing story!
Story shared: 22/12/2006 09:39:47
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