low self esteem
before i start off with my story i would like to thank chris for providing people like me with a platform to vent out our feelings and frustrations. It is very heratening to know that there is someone out there to give practical advice.
I am a 31 year old woman. I have been suffering with a very low selfesteem since my childhood. i attribute this to the circumstances at my home during my childhood. my father was not a very happy man. i really dont know why. And he used to pick up frequent fights at home due to some reason or the other with my mother and my elder brother. i was just a silent spectator to all that that used to happen at home and that made me grow into a timid person.i became withdrawn due to this. i used to keep a lot to myself. I still am like that. dont have many friends and have lost touch with many others.
I am a very ambitious person. since childhood i have been having this strong will to go high up in life and succeed in whatever i do. but i have been failing all the time. as a result today, i do hold a good enough job but i havent progressed much in the past 6 yrs .i feel i am stuck. my problem is that i dont have a well defined goal. i dont know what i want to do in life. also i have had 2 failed relationships. in the first relationship, i was too scared to commit myself to marriage and thats why the person whom i loved just went his own way and got married to another woman. in the 2nd case, our families were not for the relationship due to religious differences and thus we had to split. this time too the person has got married. this has happened very recently. this has had a strong impact on me emotionally. I feel i have lost the interest and motivation to grow or move on in life. but when i see my friends having gone way ahead of me in their personal lives as well as in their careers, i become restless and feel like moving ahead as well. but i dont know what I want to do in life. i feel frustrated due to this. also i dont have a sense of achievement. since childhood, others have been taking my decisions for me.i want to stand on my own feet. but due to a lack of aim , the setbacks that i faced in my personal life and a lack of selfesteem, i am just stuck. so due to this i feel i havent progressed much in my professional life and i am 31 yrs and still single. pressure at home for marriage is also mounting. i fear that i will finally have to settle down for a guy of my parent's choice. i realy dont want this to happen. i fear due to all this i might turn frustrated just like my dad. i dont want to turn out to be like him. i want to be happy. This is my story.
Story shared: 07/12/2006 16:34:33
#49 View the comments about this story self-esteem - aimless
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