You could call me the black sheep of the family.
A Family. What is a family really? My ideal of a family would consist of people filled with love, thats all I ask of. I spend many nights and days wipping away tears that a formed from mental and physical actions that cloud my mind and stab my heart with hurt. Today is christmas, a happy holy day, or supposed to be, and I sit her wondering why I deserve such pain (which I feel incridibly selfish for thinking concerning the unfortunates around the world). My sibling, my brother, my own flesh and blood takes me and throws me with full force. My head, now throbbing in pain leaves a mark apond my face. My fathers response "I deserved it". How selfish was I to ask for a simple favor, then sit there while I am called a "retard", "stupid B*****"", "F***ing idiot", and walk away because my mother doesnt respond to that language coming out of a 16 year old. I suppose my girly 108 lb, 5'2' body should have known better against a 5'9'' 198lb boy. I guess its okay for a boy to hit a girl, or so my family puts it. However in that scenerio vise versa, if I would ever act in such manor, I would not have anywhere to live and everything taken from me (biggest threat it not helping with college tutuion, because it is obvious I cannot afford it). I am always ignored in my family. I am often told by others I am "beautiful" and I personally dont see it, having my family know how i feel about my "beauty" they will often walk past me and say "Oh so princess _____ thinks she beautiful does she,,not" or they will simply pick out my inperfections and laugh together. I am also told that I am the cause on unhappiness in the family, the few months at a time that I am home, and that they are happier without me. Oh and it gets better, I am condoned because of my college education, and my 3.7 gpa is no good...I am often accused of "trying to act smart" and a "miss know it all". I wish despertately to get out of here before a year, however I go to a school in a small town so even if I chose to live there on my own I would have no money to support me and no job offerings. I just pray and wish to have the knowledge not to inflict such pain on anyone else. I want a better life where I can also help those "black sheep" and less fortunate people. Please pray with me.
Story shared: 26/12/2008 03:21:37
#390 View the comments about this story family - Black sheep - life
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