Alone, lost all my self confidence, friendless & pathetic
Hi,
I am a 17 year old from Spain. I originally lived in England but moved to Spain 6 years ago and since then it feels as tough my life's been changed upside down.
Before I moved to Spain I didn't really want to move anywhere as I was very happy where I was, as I had my friends and everything. When I moved with my family to Spain I felt out of place and I felt that even more when I was put into a Spanish school, where almost all the class was Spanish & knew no English. But after a couple of months I began to settle down and by the start of the new school year I was begining to make lots of new friends, but that's when the problem started.
My brother, who's a year younger than me, was getting desperate for attention as he felt that he deserved far more attention than he was receiving and so to improve his reputation he went and spread a lie about me, telling everyone I was gay, so that he could become the most popular in the school. Instantly the lie spreaded and all my friends aboandoned me and from then on I was treated like scum till the very last day.
When I moved up to Spanish secondary school I had hoped that everything that my brother lied about would be put in the past, but it wasn't and if possible it got even worse. The people who had come from the same school as me quickly told everyone the lie my brother said and from then on people started to fight me and everything till the day when someone stabbed me in the forehead with a pen. From that day on my forehead became the centre of attention and people would constantly grab me and look into my forehead to see a little scar. At the end of the year I left that school and joined a private English school, but the damage was done. I couldn't have a normal conversation with someone because I felt I no longer had the confidence to talk to someone.
Now whenever im with a group of people I just don't talk at all because I just don't know what to say and everytime I do talk im afraid I might say something that is embarrassing or might cause a fight. I can't talk to girls at all, when 1 says she likes me I just turn away afraid that im going to made a laughing stock out of if I say I like her as well.
Even tough it's been a couple of years now it still haunts me even now and everytime I see my brother I still wonder why he did it, but even now he still seems pleased with himself about it and has not even gone as far as saying his sorry about it. I also wonder what did I do to him to make him do that and still I haven't got a answer.
Because of this I haven't got a single friend and am currently waking up everyday to absolutely nothing. There are even times when I am to embarrassed to show myself to other people.
Now im trying to get my life back on track and get some friends, but it's alot harder when you have no school to go to. So is there anyway I can find and make friends with people? Any suggestions I would be very grateful for.
Thank you
Story shared: 04/11/2008 13:26:20
Comments
another thing that might be helpful to do is tell someone about your brother, he shouldn't do stuff to u like that.
another thing that might be helpful to do is tell someone about your brother, he shouldn't do stuff to u like that.
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