Question:
I have had enough. My problems began when i was just 13. I am 18 now and still nothing has improved. Will it ever? I seem to have lost all hope in everything. My motivation has evaporated into thin air. My self confidence and self esteem has hit an all time low. I hate the people who have done this to me. I hate the person who is doing this to me. It may seem ridiculus after reading some of the horrific stories on here, but what i am about to say is ruining me at present. But before i ask the only question which i wish to ask, i would like to emphasise the fact that the last several years have been hell for me and a close friend of mine. I am doing my best to cope with the past: it is the present i need to deal with. Here's my question:
How can i get over the fact that a particular individual, which i would literally (and nearly have twice before) give my life up for, doesnt care about me, my feelings, or in fact anything to do with me?
As i said i know it may sound pathetic but it is a problem i cannot seem to overcome. This, on top of many other things, has pushed me over the edge. I am holding on to the corner of that edge. Just hoping and waiting for an answer. After 3 years i am beginning to wonder whether this answer will come at all. I am about to slip.
I can't confide in anybody anymore to ask them this question myself, so when i discovered this site, i decided to put my faith into some people who may feel the same as me. People who cannot judge me. People who cannot walk away. People who cannot hate me for who or what i am.
I hope somebody out there understands. If you do understand then please help me.
I thank you for taking the time to read this and i hope to hear from somebody soon. I can't move on and i can't forget. Unless somebody can provide with a method of doing so i am afraid of what lies beyond the next couple of weeks. Thanks again...
Story shared: 07/11/2006 23:05:58
#36 View the comments about this story love - Hate - Need - Want - Anger - Pain - Hope - Hopeless
Comments
Dont give up on yourself. I was in love with someone for three years and literally thought that the world revolved around them. We were not in a relationship and not together in anyway apart from friendship.
Eventually I got over the person. I cant remember exactly when it was but there was one day when I woke up and realised and wondered what the hell I was doing. Suddenly everything changed, and it was suddenly!
Dont give up. I dont know exactly your circumstances and if you want to tell more then please do so and we can try and help.
Keep strong, best wishes and take care, Chris
There has to be something somewhere that provides a little sense to why this sort of stuff happens. I don't get it, sometimes seeing other people suffer puts me in my place but it is only a brief remedy. There is something you could try, chucking it all in for a new life, move away, rent a house with some random, get a bank loan, a little one to cover you while you find a job. Start studying a course that makes you click onto a new rythmn, live it for a bit, try figure out if such changes can be made. There is so much somewhere to be had that maybe we can break this harsh ties of affection. If you really need something, i suggest walking the camino de Santiago in Spain, 5 weeks meeting new people, that is a different world. Write a lot about it all. It won't cost too much other than flights.
Try something new, maybe even try something old.
Try, it seems it is all we have to a large extent, sometimes it's enough too.
x
I knw its hard, I've been there and have also dished out this kinda treatment unknowingly....
Sometime our actions cut across so many planes that we dont even realise, such a co-incidence that this very day a few hours ago and i was talking to a friend and she told me she cared so much about me and I {unknowingly} was treating her like dirt....
Her solution, was to find something to bury herself in... which at that point in time was he academics... she came on top, got over the situation and she's thankful today...
I feel real bad right now... but am happy too... u'll be alrite...
in her words "every1 i meet has a part to play in the story of my life n when their part is over I shd let go"
I agree and dont agree...
But everyone plays a part of you life, be it a small part or a large one. But everything ends. and you have to let go.
Life is a bitch. There is no escaping that fact. And it won't help if you won't let go of something that's making it worse. If she treats you the way you describe then she isn't worth your time, effort or love.
Let go. Then it will get better.
Find someone else.
BTW If he doesn't know you, dying for him is pointless.
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