How can I really deal with this?
I'm a 26yr old mom of two boys. I have my baby girl due in Dec. I have always wanted a girl, some security, a happy content life. Sometimes I almost have it, and than it slips through the cracks. I've been with the father of my unborn baby for 1yr and 1/2 (onand off of course). We've had problems in the past we were working through.I found out I was pregnant and he really stepped up...3 day later I found out he cheated on me with not only one, but 2 women! I was not ready for this pregnancy and the news of his betrayal left me in shambles and wishing I wasn't pregnant with "his baby". He pleaded with me to give it another chance begged me not to concider abortion (which I'm not to fond of but was thinking about). So I gave him this chance to be a man. He was great at some points and others...he was as bi-polor as anyone one with the mental disorder can be. He would get mad because I would not just "get over" the hurt. He resented the pain I was in because of the emotional straign. He even packed up and left numerious times instead of coping with the issue he created. He came back started counceling with me and things were going better than they ever have....untill last night. He faught with me for no reason and than brought the cops to remove his stuff from our house. Now if you knew me or the situation, you'd know cops didn't need to come. I've helped him pack everytime he's left. I barely say a word. I don't stand in front of the door and say no either. I' more like "if your gonna leave than I can't stop you, but think of what your doing". He brought the cops of more of a act to embarass me. I have a social anxiety, and things of that nature have a lasting effect on me. Hard to explain. He called me names (which he had only done twice ever) he called me a B and the C word. I could not believe it. His reason...because he did not hear me say I love you in the morning before he left. It was just crazy. He blamed me and told me we were not family. The situation with the cops scared my kids and his son. They were so confused. Me too for that matter. He said he's done and wants nothing to do with me. I don't know what it is. The last couple weeks have been glorious. We were both so happy about the baby girl when we found out. Now I'm going to have to do it alone. Even if he tried to come back I don't think I can take this again. I can't stop crying. Just want to die in so many ways. It was almost so perfect and I have no clue why it's not now. I noticed he was a little less into me sexually (meaning not as often) since I've been getting bigger, but I'm still an attractive women. I used to model and won a pagent when I was younger...and by far the full package including brains etc that he's ever had...so what to do now? I just don't know. How to cope when I really have no one to lean on. I'm just so extreemly saddened by the entire thing. I need help....some kind of strength....something...just lost and terrified of it all
J
Story shared: 02/08/2008 05:57:52
#349 View the comments about this story sad - pregnant - alone...and hurting. Posin relationships
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