why me..
this is my sad little exsistance on life i wish i wasnt here maybe ppl r right wen they say bad thinghs happen to bad ppl but am i really a bad person iv neva harmed ny one apart frm myself... im still in love wit my ex we were together on n off for 6 years n this last year as bn hell i lost a baby n it has deeply affected me in a very bad way i thought my partner felt the same way obviously i was wrong im now alone n strugglin comin to terms with losin my baby my ex partner does nt wnt t knw he didnt wnt the baby as he dreamt up a whole new life for us both if i decided to terminate the pregnancy..
Nature took its course n i lost the baby 20 weeks in to the pregnancy n i av horror flash backs haunting me frm that day waking up to see my baby being carried away in a plastic bag not been able to register the babys birth or death as hurt its like he neva exsisted..
So y cant i just move on n move forward n come to terms wit my loss y cant i stop sendin abuse to my ex n stp blamin him i have no idea im hurtin greivin n devestated all at once iv tried anti depressants iv tried councilling iv tried suicide but im still here still torturing myself all i wnt is my baby bk n my ex partner but he wont even speak to me he hates me for the things ivsaid to him
Story shared: 27/06/2008 17:08:22
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