Life?!?!
Okay... I've never done this sort of thing before and to most people i will sound like a normal teenage girl, But I'm one that needs a bit of advise.
Im 13 years old and turning 14 soon ive just had my SATs and since then my mum has been blaming me for everything that has been going wrong saying i have a "attitude problem" bacause of my SATs when i have simply been revising.
My life has been going downhill over the past couple of months, so many things are happening to me and i just need to let it all out...
This may seem slightly odd but I need to make a list there are that many and by the time you got to the end you'd most likley be asleep.
- my baby cousin died
- i found out my mum was adopted
- People started treating me differently at school like i didn't matter.
- My godmother has been told she will be in a wheelchair in a few years.
- My mum started treating me differently. Blaming me for things that i didn't do and saying i had a "attitude problem" because i was quiet and don't talk all the time.
- My New born cousin (who was a twin to the baby who died) I am not allowed to see because my mum fell out with my uncle.
- My dad keeps going away with work.
- My mum and dad keep having huge rows and walking out then coming back hours later, throwing things and threatening to leave and never come back.
There are so so many and everything is mounting up and i just needed to do something...I have been thinking of so many things running away and ending it all everything but i have never been able to go through with anything because i know i would be leaving behind those close to me and who i love... Friends, My auntie and my cousins...
Story shared: 11/05/2008 17:28:43
#302 View the comments about this story Hope - mum - School - adopted
Comments
Wait until there's NOBODY for you to have a problem with - then you'll have an inkling of what loneliness is about.
i don't know how you are feeling at the moment. hopefully at least not worse than when you posted your story.
there is a lot going on in your life right now, so don't be surprised you feel a little overloaded. this is perfectly normal. you lost one of your baby cousins. I hope he/she didn't have to suffer. i believe in reinkarnation, therefore i believe your baby cousin lives on, even though invisible and in another world. it gave me comfort when my partner died.
the fact that your mother was adopted is not too hard if you still love your mothers adopting parents/your grandparents. it is only a word, adoption. sometimes you don't feel it, as they treat you like real parents/grandparents etc. I was adopted by my "father" when I was 2 years old. but he treated me like his real daughter, therefore i was actually proud of having such a great dad. i hope that you can one day feel similar, or let me know if your situation is different.
when people treat you bad at school it is hard to get through that phase. is it only a phase? sometimes we think everyone has to love us. is there a chance that you have just one friend and be happy with that?
my friend had a broken spine and was told she will never walk again. she started planning a 1-year backpacking holiday because she did not believe what the doctors said. she ended up on a 4-year (!) backpacking holiday and she is still walking to this day! hope and let your godmother hope.
your mother and your father are having rows over things. your mother is then blaming you for other things. it's not right, but this is what sometimes happens. when your mum comes accross as angry or unfair, maybe she just feels sad and is unsure about the future. do you have the courage to talk to her about it? or is she not a good listener? you can always get counselling or ask your parents to get counselling. i don't know about counselling for teens, but regarding your parents, there is a company called "relate" who does couple counselling.
please don't run away or hurt yourself. your parents DO love you and you don't need the proof by worrying them. if you would like to answer any of the above questions, i am happy to comment on it. all the best for you.
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