True life stories.

falling of the rails?

I guess I haven't had an easy life, so my friends tell me, dad leaving when i was 6 losing our home, mother with depression, smashing up home, sister sucked into the pit of depression the fights the social comin round dad not caring, all of that I delt with, just picked myself up and moved on untill last year. i get low, don't we all times when you just shut the door close the curtains and reach for the bottle. have to switch off and hide the mobile phone so you don't send a random text to your ex. I have fought for years, this won't happen to me I see what is does to you I will not be tarred with that brush. i was with my ex for 4 years and he broke me everything I did was wrong he made such a good effort to distroy me, and yes I am angry, may be that is it. in the end after he got bored and I had nothing to give he threw me out. well i crashed, bottle of vodka, all the pills i could find, not about death, just peace, i felt safe as soon i was taken away, the paramedics were great, my brain stopped. nothing.after months of my mind racing and no sleep for 4 nights it stopped. i could only see the next 5 mins max nothing else, i was put on the good old prozac, dropped to 7 stone and really was not well. that was a year ago. here i am again losing the fight, just cant be bothered with it all anymore. am i just lonely, an idot too self absorbed in my own self pity to see the bigger picture. should anyone care, why should they, why should they waste their time on a no hoper like me. falling off the rails, i don't know. just need to sound off, all i want is a good cry, but havent done that for a year, someone to hold me, love me, its all right, its all gonna be alright. not in this life.

Story shared: 20/10/2006 23:23:39

#30 View the comments about this story Tags: just sad

Comments

#1 by Christopher John on 21/10/2006 15:02:00 (id-258).
Hey you

Thank you for sharing your story, and thank you for being number 30 on here. I am so very sorry that you feel that you have had a rough trot and hope things get better for you. I sincerely hope that you receive encouragement and empathy from others.

Sending you a very large hug, and keep on going.

CJ

#2 by Jeni on 28/10/2006 13:30:11 (id-275).
my mum has depression too and i know its an awful thing. and my ex walked away from me when i was at my very lowest too but u know there are plenty of nice ppl out there. you gotta know that things will be better, lifes a big ride and things go up and down, but you will be fine just remember theres loads of other people who feel like you do xxx

#3 by Hiedi on 19/11/2006 20:42:50 (id-306).
Hang in there things will get better you'll find someone. Things always look bad form the inside but from the outside there is someone waiting to come and save you waiting to meet you and help you just hang on until you find them. Be strong you've done it before you can do it again, you know its not impossible. You can do it x

#4 by Buy oem Software on 11/02/2012 21:55:02 (id-5821).
qj6J2T I envy you. The content and design of your blog is much better than mine. Who made a design for you?!....

#5 by Discount OEM Software on 08/03/2012 10:17:05 (id-7729).
edUrBZ Very neat post.Much thanks again. Really Cool.

True life stories.

falling of the rails?

Comments

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