ahh
i feel the same but i dont think i hate her. my mums going through meopause and shes such a bitch shes started drinking more often and is only nice when she drinks, i cant talk to her and if i feel depressed or i feel disgusted in myself or whatever she just takes it lightly. i cant tell anybody because the thought that goes through everyones minds is 'your a teenager it's typical' i used to self harm because i was so frustrated and i had therapy for it but now iv stopped therapy and she makes my life so depressing i self harmed for the first time in ages the other day,i've done stupid things like purging, starving myself, taking too many pills etc...(no one in the world nows this) but i dont want to do it as much as i used to and i feel like im heading down a black hole again. she always has tantrums like a 3 year old, she uses different tactics to get me crying until i cry like if one thing doesnt bother me she'll go onto the next thing untill i react and she always has to have the last word and argue about petty things. another thing she does is say something then says she didnt say it so therefore i am in her words 'a lunatic' she also takes the piss out of the way i am when were having an argument like a bitchy teenage girl, she thinks shes 15 but shes 50. one day she'll be super nice to me and buy me little presents which i appreciate but then the next day she'll be a complete bitch and take all her emotions out on me then say im taking all my problems out on her. im an only child and my dad doesnt live with me so nobody knows what she's really like. im in the middle of my gcses and i cant take it, i want to run away so much it hurts but i have to do my exams, my grades have gone way down and im gonna fail everything. ahhhhh HELP
there is no point talking to her she cant see how she's a control freak, she's made me paranoid with her rediculous mood swings so i dont know whether she fakes being nice to me or whether she just gets angry easily, even my friends are scared of her but i still love her cuz we used to be unbvelieveably close when i was growing up since it was just me and her so im really confused as to whats happened to her in the past few years .
ahhh that was well long and ewww i hate self loathing...i sound like some stupid angsty teenager but im so restless bored scared and angry i need help sorry lol but help .
Story shared: 08/05/2008 19:07:18
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