Why do I keep on going?
I'm 32 and male, I've had some great times in my life. I've woke-up thinking it couldn't get better. I've seen things only very few have seen and been in awe of the beauty of existence on this planet, so why do I now struggle to get by from day-to-day?
Mostly I hate being single. I also hate the way I look and hate the fact that I have no purpose in life. I've have started in invent reasons to keep on going. I'm a intelligent person and know that some of the thoughts that I have are not rational, when I'm and I try to dismiss then but when I'm alone at night or worse, having nightmares about what my ex-girlfriend is doing or how she would now treat me as a stranger - it has been over a year since I have seen her last.
I just keep thinking that the good times will come back again, but I just don't know when and for how long I can keep waking-up in the morning going to work, come home, make dinner, sleep and starting it all over again.
It seems to be that I push away the people in my life, like my family and friends at the time that I need them most, but I just don't feel that they should even look at me.
I have went through years like this before, but it has never seemed so helpless - I'm just sick of this shit.
Story shared: 03/05/2008 21:25:06
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