My Mother
I can't remember a time I liked my Mum and I'm pretty sure I haven't ever loved her. She has always been pressuring me to grow up, she was like, on the pill by 15 and because I wasn't she thinks I'm a lesbian. Shes always pocking away at my self histeam and because of her I am terrified of life. Shes so stupid, she has no idea how she is affecting me. I don't want to go out because when I am out she calls me every half hour wanting to talk to me, asking what I'm doing and who I'm with. She is judgementle and rude about my friends, she makes fun of me for 'not being cool' tbh I don't really want to be cool, coolness or how cool something is is the least of my worries.
I am afraid of making good friends with people and I am not aloud to be friends with boys without my mum saying stuff like "I think he fancies you" "why don't you go out with him?" and the worse one "Ellie, do you want to have sex with him?" She had one of them online affairs and I found out and she threatened me. (she still married to my Dad) and then when her fathers wife did the same she was very rude and hypocritical of her.
I can't cope I cant be myself as long as I'm at home with her. I have even dabbled with drugs to help me cope.
She wants to shape me in to someone like her and I think I would actully rather kill myself than be like that.(I'm not going to kill myself)
But yeah, thankyou for reading.
Story shared: 07/04/2008 17:55:40
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