True life stories.

I Accept My Decision but will Always be Sad

Hello,

I just had an abortion 3 weeks ago. My pregnancy was a complete accident. I was magicallly happy when I realized I was pregnant. I felt like I finally know what it feels like to be a woman. I am totally in love with my boyfriend, who I wish was my husband, but he still is married to his wife who he has been separated from for 8 years.

He and I have talked about having children for over a year- but not NOW> anyways, I was so happy to be pregnant and instantly had everything planned out to raise the child. There is no feeling like being pregnant from someone you are in love with and envision marrying and having a famiy with.

As soon as I told him that I was pregnant, to my surprise, he panicked and told me he woud leave me if I had the child. I was shocked and hurt. I am quite aware that his behavior is completely selfish and fearful. He has an 18 year old daughter who he has no relationship with because him and his x-wife broke up and turned against one another- I guess I have not realized how much he is still paralyzed by his past and I am paying the price for his fear and mistakes.

I'm sure the baby would have been beautiful, and I would have found a man who would have helped me out and loved me and our child- I am very sad about the whole situation and had the abortion because I do not want to go through a beautiful pregnancy alone without my man. I believe in doing things together- and this was not planned- so I didn't want to burden my family with taking care of me at 30 years old.

In retrospect, I shoud still be pregnant right now and if he can't handle it he can leave me but he is MISSING OUT on a beautiful wife and kid. However it's too late and I already gave into his threat.

I will live with this forever, but have learned a lot and will never make the same mistake.

N.

I know now to be more serious about who I'm involved with and how to be more careful about birth control. Its so painful to go through an abortion, no matter what, especially when you are with someone you thought you'd have a family with.

I am beautiful, smart, 30 years old, and very sad that this has had to happen.
Bottom Line: Don't get pregnant and use very careful birth control!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I always have to learn the hard way....I'm so stupid!

Story shared: 04/03/2008 10:07:54

#250 View the comments about this story Tags: Sad but moving forward

Comments

#1 by NYC on 09/04/2008 22:02:54 (id-954).
You are NOT stupid....u reacted out of passion. We are human and make rash decisions. At this point, I hope you realize that his concern is not for you and that you need to re-evaluate who is looking out for YOU! This situation will be with you forever, but at the same time when you think logically about the situation at 30 something are you really mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially ready to care for a child all on your own? If so, you still have time, dont give up...this experience has just given you a better method of judgment:) Stay strong....

#2 by Shel on 21/04/2008 23:38:17 (id-969).
Thanks for posting this story it has helped me so much to know that I am not alone in this experience. I had an abortion in December 2007 and I have been strugglying to accept my decision and come to terms with it every since. You seem to have handle this horrible situation so well and it was kind of inspiring to see how strong you are and how well you have coped. I became pregnant after seeing the father for only a few months, he did not want me to have the baby and I felt pressured to give him what he wanted (and to make him happy). I found out whilst pregant that he was still with the mother of his first child (who is refused to leave) and I became scared, fearful about being a single mom and what other people would say about me. I paniked and eventually had the abortion at 16 weeks. A week after the abortion he left me and I have since found out that his partner is expecting. Ever since the abortion I have felt guilt, sadness and regret about what I have done and miss my baby terribly...this has led me to become quite depressed and frightend about my future. One thing I have learned like you is that I too will be careful about the men I choose and I only hope I will have the opportunity to be a mom very soon. I hope I will one day be able to cope as well as you are now. I think we both need to make sure we get plenty of love, kisses and hugs from those who care about us (friends/family). I live in hope that you, I and others in our situation will find peace and happiness one day. Good luck, dont give up!

True life stories.

I Accept My Decision but will Always be Sad

Comments

Add you're comment