Its been a year...
Its a year on valentines day that my friend let it all go... Wearing black all month, found out tonight some other poor girl i hardly knew has done the same... Its sad... I feel sorry for these people... They will never get a second chance... Met up with one of my best mates... Its a long complicated story between me him and a girl... It was good to see him... Thou it let me know some things... Its just sad when you really REALLY actually Love somebody i mean... For instance... an analogy... If you 'Love' a rose (Attachment)... You pick it and take it home.... When you (actually) Love the rose, you leave it to grow and prosper in its surroundings... Its sad that i actually loved this girl who I made a big part of my life (Foolishly) Thinking the same in return... But really she cant even love herself... Well anyway the things gone full circle and she's left on her ass... And its left with the two friends who grew up togeather (Screwed each other over a few times) saying."Bros before Hoes"(Friends before girls) over a few beers... But i cant help but feel betrayed.... pretty much by myself... I guess i saw what really wasnt there... I fell in Love with somebody.. Who really didnt exist... I wish her all the best... She is a very sick girl... Im glad tonight happened despite the thoughts it had conjured... Im gonna comtemplate them whether i like it or not... so why fight it... Hopefully i will learn something from it... I really Dont believe in love anymore... what that really means is... I dont know anymore, it scares me if doesnt exist it scares me if it does becuase of what it does to you....a bit of a donnie darko momment, it scary that everything good... really does end.. In years i will look back in embaressment at what ive let people make me feel... Nevermind ay... Im sure im just growing up... And this is my therapy...Perhaps... A freestyle equation of emotions with a result being that really there is no Conclusion... Things just end... Unexpectedly... and its up to you to pick up the pieces and just get on with the good things life has to offer... Lol... My problem is i think too much... really Life is good, the options have limited appeal and there are much worse things going on in the world which are much more important on the grand scale of things...... anyway... Much love... Always ... Shandy...xxx Keep your chin up... Love yourself... be true...
Story shared: 13/02/2008 02:08:38
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