trying to see a light
i am 33 years old and have made some bad mistakes in my life. i always wanted to help people less fortunate. in fact my only main goal in all of my dreams was to somehow help people. i have never been very successful in my life, but always was very popular.for some reason people in general were attracted to me, and believed in me. i took all that for granted and thought i could push the boundaries, because everyone loved me and i figured they would know i meant no harm. now because of that, i caused some trouble that humiliated me in the media. because of my situation, i embarassed my family and everyone who believed in me. ive made myself look worthless, and now i feel worthless. all my dreams seem to have diffused away because of the notoriousness of my publicity. and i still have the laziness and low self esteem that caused me originally to look for other forms of gratification and self esteem. now i feel that i take away from life and people with every breath i take, because i do everything wrong. And all i want, is to no longer be a burden to people that love me. i have created so many problems , that i wonder whether i can even have the possibility of success anymore. my passion and spirit is drifting away. every day im dragged down by my own depression, and every day its tougher to rise back up. life is kicking my ass, but the downer is i did it to myself. and i dont know if i have the capability to build a good life and honor the people that care about me.so many people loved me, but i let them all down.
Story shared: 08/01/2008 21:53:48
Comments
Add you're comment