i hate my mum
i love my mum so much but sometimes she is a self centered arrogant bitch who only thinks of herself and when shes felling rubbish I'm the one who gets all of her crap because I'm the oldest. its just not fair and sometimes she makes me feel like i want to die or run away. like the other day we had been having a good weekend because my brother and sister had gone on holiday for a few days with my dad, who i also don't like because he had an affair, so we were having a good time and then my brother a sister came home so i asked to see if i could sleep out at my relatives and she told me that she wanted us all together for one night and we all got into this big argument and she sent me to my room for it. also, ever since my dad left shes been really miserable to be around and i know that it isn't her fault but sometimes i feel like I'm the adult and shes the one that needs looking after. i just really don't know what to do anymore, i spend most of the day in my room and on my laptop because it means i don't have to spend time with her. i love her to bits and i don't know what i would do if she wasn't here but she just makes me feel so angry and i don't know what to do sometimes! i just need someone to talk to who can relate to me!!!
Story shared: 02/01/2008 22:17:17
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We all have to go through this transition, we grow up being totally dependent on our parents, but as we grow older we do several things. We stop being totally dependent when we start school, we start to lose touch with our parents because we find ourselves bonding with people our own age. We identify with people who look, feel and think like we do, and that is what friendships are all about.
As these friendships become cosy, we start to see our parents as different, well they are! They have a head start on us, they have been through everything that you have, maybe in different circumstances, but they have been through it.
What they have also done is create children, and that takes grown ups on a whirlwind of worry, happiness and despair. The parents have to cope with it all, and all that any parent asks for in return is that little thing called love. It's not the same love as being in love, it is a family love.
A smile and a thank you costs nothing, but it means the whole world to a parent. Time spent with a child, happy, chatty times, are worth more than all the money in the world. Parents dream of a child who shows appreciation of what they have done for their child, even if the child takes everything they are given for granted.
You may not realise it but you are precious, you are the most precious thing that your mother has. You are her life. When you reject her wish to see you, to have you around, to talk to, then she will feel like an absolute failure. She can't see why you don't want what she wants, and you don't understand why she wants what she wants.
I can bet that if you went to your mum, and said something like Can you teach me to cook something, or Can you help me with whatever, she would probably faint. Spending time together now will mean that you learn to understand each other, and you can't do that if you are sat in your room on your laptop and she is downstairs.
So, seeing as being an adult brings with it adult behaviour, why don't you show her that you can be as grown up as the best of them. Say something like - Look, I know I have been a bit of an idiot, and I know that you have been doing a lot for me all of my life that I may not seem to appreciate, but I do love you, I would love to spend time together doing stuff, and I do appreciate your views on things, even if they are different to mine - and see how it goes?
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