My random life
stupid personality, teenok my story is weird...
or just a normal everyday life i don't know.
first of all major deppression runs in my family
i have moved alot during my life like that is 3 countries... i move about every 3 years, and whenever i make friends i have to leave them
I'm 16 now
my life was ok untill i started high school, there were some juniour schools that i hated and and i was unhappy but not depressed.
when i started grade 8 i was so lonely, everyone in my class thought i was a snob, they thought i thought that i was better than them, but really i was really shy, i find it really hard to make friends and i just couldn't talk to them... i would litrally sit all by myself at school and cry, and when i got home i would cry myself to sleep.
grade nine came and i made one good friend in my new classbut she was really obsessed with dieting and i liked running so I decided to take it futher, i stopped eating busciuts and things and eventually just cut out food, i found clever ways of concealling it. I was so unhappy and nobody really cared, except my family.
i recovered, i lost that friend had a few in my last year of that school but in the three years there only 3 people ever invited me over to their house. That dosn't make you feel verry accepted.
I started a new school at the beggining of this year.
But here everyone is really smart and thin and beautiful.
when i lost weight i lost 13kg when i gained weight i gained 20kg.
at my old school i was considered smart, i wanted to be a doctor.
at this school i am considered stupid, and i realise that there is no way that i can become that so now i have no idea what i want to do.
This year i had my first boyfriend, i found it hard to make friends here but for some reason i am alot happier.
he dumped me after 2 months and it was after like 3hours of him telling me all of my personality flaws, the problem was that he was right he just made it so clear... i didn't really care about losing him, but i did care about losing all the nice people i met through him, and i try to keep up but nobody aver invites me out to do anything, sometimes i try to tag along but still they never invite me.
and i think it's because of these flaws, this past month i've been acting happy, and it's made me happier, but sometimes i stil feel like it's fake... like i should be curled up in a ball asking for help, i just wish people liked me for who i am.
Story shared: 24/12/2007 12:32:59
#223 View the comments about this story anorexia - loneliness - stupid personality - Teen
Comments
btw that poem is great it's pretty much what i try to tell myself :)
thanks
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