True life stories.

Dear Stranger

This is pathetic but I want to get it out of my system. I am alone even though there are so many people around me. There are so many people here, but no one for me. I have never been in a relationship, and I don't want one, but I need a close friend, a real friend, who understands me and what has happened to me and won't judge me and will listen and hug me and who I can cry in front of. For loads of people here, I am that person, but I need a best friend. I feel like I am lying to everyone here; I am acting as the strong, invincible person they can always talk to and I will always help and do my best. My problem is, I need that someone. I really just want a hug. A real hug, not just a 'Oh I'll hug her and then she'll be better so I can LEAVE'. As a contradiction, I cringe away from physical contact with others, when what I really want is a real hug. I don't know why and I can't help it. I have bottled so much, too much, stuff up for years, so I could be the strong person my brother and mum and friends needed, but now it needs to come out. I guess this helps, but it also makes me aware of how much I need someone.
This is kind of side-tracking, but (and this really confuses me) when people around me are happier, when the occasion is happier, the sadder I feel. I'll come out from a meal or the cinema with my mum, and I feel so low... and I don't know why and I really want to know. Any ideas?
I have only had one best friend my whole life, and we were closer than sisters. I miss her every day, but I know that if we met again, she wouldn't like me. I am a changed person. And I don't mean for the better.

People say that what desn't kill you makes you stronger. Well hell, it ripped me apart.

Thankyou Stranger, for taking the time to read my pathetic complaints. You didn't need to read this, but you did. For that, I thank you.
Remember, you don't need to comment, but it brightens my day. I check this website everyday (I have one other story on here, but I am not going to say which, so you won't read it and judge me), and when I see I have a new comment, I feel emotions I rarely do. Just knowing that someone, even though you don't me, cares and has something to say... well, it makes a difference.

Thankyou Stranger.

Story shared: 07/11/2007 21:07:16

#201 View the comments about this story Tags: alone

Comments

#1 by mocasu on 10/11/2007 16:53:52 (id-760).
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hope u can feel this hug

#2 by midlandsgal on 11/11/2007 11:03:58 (id-761).
Hi there, Im in the same situation, I have all these people around me but none of them understand my needs. I am the strong one always caring for others but never seem to get nothing back in return. I used to have a best friend too but I moved away and we have lost contact now, so there is no one around me, no friends and no family, only my husband who is great but I still feel so lonely. And even with people around you, you can still feel really lonely too, very rarely in this life does a true friend pass by and the best thing to do is hold on to them and dont let them go because once they go, they are gone for ever, I know this from experience. There are many others like you in the same situation, many people we pass on the street are the same. You sound a caring, loving person and I admire your strength, I hope one day you find another real good friend, lots of hugs and kisses

#3 by Bubblezz on 16/11/2007 06:14:06 (id-763).
Hi there, I'm in the same situation. For some reason, your story is exactly lie mine. I completely understand how you feel. I pray that you get all the hugs you deserve, and don't worry, everything comes in time. Take care.

#4 by Tealeaves79 on 25/11/2007 18:27:47 (id-769).
I used to feel like this alot. I wasn't really depressed and I used to be happy but I was alawys awair of this lonlyness undernith everything. I just felt misunderstood even by those who cared about me and alone.

It can and does get better thought it sounds stupid and got on my nerves when people said it to me. I was starting to come out of it and just acept I was never going to find a real friend and just acept my lot when I met some one I really clicked with.

They had been feeling the same way as me and were just starting to come to terms with those feelings as well. We just hit it off and after years of being mistinderstood there was finaly ome one who knew me better than anyone in the world after a few hours conversation. We talked constantly just catching up on each other lives, wanting to know everything.

We have been best friends for three years now. We have helped each other threw some terrible times and I don't know what I'd do without them.

My advice is to meet as many people as you can. The person I clicked with had been a friend of friends and a familoure face for years before we talked to each other and jelled properly. We didn't even like each other much and had awful first impressions.

There are more people than you think like you ut there but all hiden away protectively. I hope you find one of those people soon.

#5 by Spanion on 10/12/2007 09:22:09 (id-780).
I'd like to be that friend.

#6 by katie-anne gibbon-sissons on 20/12/2007 16:14:06 (id-807).
Hi i know how you feel im 15 me and my best freind dont see eye to eye anymore people have come between us i find my self thinking of ways to end my torment and i only wish to feel a relationship with a freind and that we have a bond that cannot n will not be broken and that we can be freinds forever i just want a real hug one that has emotion and feeling and not one like you say is to passify us to make us to withhold our feelings well im sick of withholding things in i just wanna cry out i need help.i need a freind.thanks x

#7 by katie-anne gibbon-sissons on 20/12/2007 16:53:13 (id-808).
Hi i know how you feel im 15 me and my best freind dont see eye to eye anymore people have come between us i find my self thinking of ways to end my torment and i only wish to feel a relationship with a freind and that we have a bond that cannot n will not be broken and that we can be freinds forever i just want a real hug one that has emotion and feeling and not one like you say is to passify us to make us to withhold our feelings well im sick of withholding things in i just wanna cry out i need help.i need a freind.thanks x

#8 by Shoulder on 05/01/2008 00:25:38 (id-832).
I am in the same boat I have been the one that everyone seems to turn to when they have a problem (whether with relationships or family) but theres never been anyone there for me really.

True life stories.

Dear Stranger

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