True life stories.

lazy husband

I have been married for over 6 years now and as far back as I can remember my husband doesnt do nothing around the house at all. He does work full time yes and I appreciate that but when he comes home he just sits down and expects to be waited on until he goes to bed. Its so frustrating. I work from home part time and there is no way I could go out to work full time and do this at home, otherwise I wouldnt have a life. Lately he has got so lazy, he doesnt want to go anywhere or do anything, he just wants to sit on his backside being waited on. He hates visting family and friends and doesnt like me to visit anyone either because im not there to wait on him. I have lost my excitement for life and feel very bored and frustrated. I do love him, I have talked to him loads of times about how I feel but he doesnt want to do nothing about it, he wont ever change, it will never change I know, I dont know what to do

Story shared: 04/11/2007 19:09:44

#200 View the comments about this story Tags: husband - lazy - bored

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#1 by Karla on 29/12/2007 00:48:47 (id-819).
This is a tricky one, especially if your need for tidiness is greater than his. Its worth going to stay with a friend/relative by yourself for a week, just so he gets to see how much work you are doing. Ultimatley if you left him for a week he would have a choice - either sit in his own filth or start doing some housework himself! Most people come round to the second option. So if you were away he would get some practice and he might even get some satisfaction and self respect by doing things for himself. The hardest thing is that you are in a routine which is hard to break. If you nag, he'll just get annoyed and dig his heals in. He's got to feel like its his choice to do more. It may be worth being really appreciative and praising him when he does the slightest thing so he will have some incentive for doing it again. (Bit like dog training!) Or ask his advice as to how to do some housework better (even if you know). He's more likely to do something in the future if its his idea or invention. Its impractical to expect miracles overnight - a gentle approach is best. He may be completely in the wrong but telling him may not be the best way of getting him to do what you want.

Going away is best but if not try going on strike. Dont make a big fanfare of it, dont even mention it, just stop doing stuff and if he asks for his dinner, say as casual as you can that you couldn't be bothered tonight. He will certainly hold out for as long as he can in the hope the mess will get too much for you, but if you act llike you have just given up and dont even care anymore then he may eventually do something. You should certainly go out as and when you please.

If you still have no joy then maybe best to consider leaving, or at least look like you are considering it, as this may spur him into action!

#2 by Karla on 29/12/2007 00:53:23 (id-820).
...or seeing as you are effectively his cleaner/housekeeper, ask him for money for the services you provide. Work out how many hours a week you do and then charge him at the local cleaning rate. Then you won't feel like he is taking advantage and will have some extra money!

True life stories.

lazy husband

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