Too lonely to live
I'm alone and unwanted. I have been for as long as I can remember. I always have been, I always will be.
I've heard all the "someone for eveyone" lies, but isn't it funny how that particular platitude always comes from people who have someone. Try spending 42 years alone because nobody wants you (and I mean *nobody*).
Next time you're about to tell someone there's "someone for eveyone" just stop and ask yourself "do I truly KNOW for a fact that there's someone for this person, or am I lieing to them to make myself feel better". If you KNOW there is someone for that person, then tell them who it is. And if you can't tell them who it is, then you can't know it for a fact. Tell them you BELIEVE that there is someone for everyone - that's a different thing. And once upon a time, many people believed that the earth was flat. So welcome to the flat earth society.
Too many people have told me that "someone for everyone" lie. Why do they hate me so much that they have to lie to me?
I can't go on any longer. Life is too cruel and painful. This is the end.
Goodbye cruel world. Nobody will even notice I'm gone.
Story shared: 28/09/2006 20:09:20
#20 View the comments about this story lonliness - desperation - suicide.

Comments
Well thank you for finding the site, and more importantly thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. Simply by sharing this on the site, I guarantee that you are no longer alone, in your thoughts at least.
I hope you receive some lovely words of encouragement, support, and friendship as people read your thoughts.
With very best wishes, CJ
I'm sorry to hear how sad you feel about people who tell you "there's someone for everyone". You're right, they don't KNOW this, but they are wishing you well by saying it (even if you find this annoying !)
With best wishes -
Your story made my heart melt with compassion. I really believe that you feel the way you do because you dont have a clue about your own unique individual value. It seems you equate your value to having a partner. Believe me partners can bring there own baggage with them. Celbrate the freedom to be yourself and Celbrate your Life Choose Life it takes less courage and guts than death.
i'm very lonely as well, but please please please, dont do anything to urself. its not worth it..
i'm going through the lonliness now thats why i came to this site..
please take care
liza xx
Take good care of yourself, it would be good if you could post another story, just to let us know you are still here x x x
Does anyone know how to stop the "pity party" that seems to go on constantly in my head. I lie down on the sofa thinking about all the things I could be doing, but the reality is I can't even be bothered to brush my teeth or take a shower.
For all the LONLEY I wish you hope.
Look after yourself and know that people, even if only people on this website are thinking of you and hope you are safe xxx
You need to learn to value yourself - ultimately other people will always be a let down. Be true to yourself, you have the freedom to be as you are without compromise. To be loved or to love others limits your freedom. Everything you do has to then be a compromise.
I can understand the despair you feel and it is very real - but having the love of others makes no difference ultimately. You need to stop rationalising. Feelings are not sensible or logical - even if you can make others love it is only a temporary high and does not give you a long term sense of self worth.
I hope I'm wrong, so TLTL please let us now how you are!
To everybody else I'd like to say: stay safe
"If you feel like things can't get any worse, realise that they can only get better"
I hope I'm wrong, so TLTL please let us now how you are!
To everybody else I'd like to say: stay safe
"If you feel like things can't get any worse, realise that they can only get better"
the truth is we live in a society where happiness is frowned upon. So many people are so miserable , if you are happy it irritates them no end , sort of the "if I am miserable how dare he be bappy therefore let me try and screw it up"
As far as partners go well good luck there because the truth is looks count in reality and you always have the fat friend to screw things up, you know where I am coming from
So with women be your self, just remember that they will be people out there to make you miserable , smile look up look around and just remember life is shitty but every so often something great happens it does trust me
So give yourself a pat on the back , u have made it to 42 and still going strong
Ciao man
Just because women treat this guy (and the rest of us) like s**t, don't assume that he doesn't "value himself" or think that he's worthwhile; that's simply bs. Accept that your actions have an impact on others; Just because you wouldn't be seen dead with him, doesn't mean he has "low self-esteem" (how I hate that expression - me, I have more SELF-esteem and SELF-confidence than you can imagine, but then again, it's not me that won't date me, is it? I'd put money on it that it's the same with this geezer. (Apart from anything else, actually READ the way he writes; correct grammar, spelling and punctuation - I know this is the 21st century, so those may all considered archaic - but we're not talking to a moron here. Writing (even on the web) is a lost art - read, larn and inwardly digest. Lather, rinse repeat.
When you're an ugly old man, it doesn't matter how funny you are, how smart you are, how well traveled, educated, read or wealthy you are. All that matters to women is what you look like. And since some of us don't look like Robert Redford, we're doomed to be alone forever.
And all those of you who say "I have someone, but it isn't perfect" make me heave. If is sucks so much the f*****g leave. But of course, then you'd be on your own - and that's what you criticise this poor guy for - for not wanting to be alone. Tell you what - find a dictionary, and look up the word "hypocrite". You may find your name against the definition.
Duuuude, I seriously hope you found something or someone to make your life worthwhile. I didn't, and in a few minutes time I'll be taking the plunge from my window to the ground below. Nobody ever cared whilst I lived, but at least once I'm gone somebody will have to take notice (even if it's only to scrape me up off the sidewalk).
I wish you luck my friend, because maybe I'm the only one who's read this that has any comprehension of how you feel (I don't necessarily understand what you're going through per se, but I'm been alone since before they tried to get zoning approval for the pyramids, so I've got some inkling of your dilemma). Do you a deal: If you're already dead, then I'm on my way, so get the beer in. If you're not, I'll be waiting for you when you get here, and the first round is on me.
A lot of praying and positive thinking gets me through. I know that God is there for all of us. I tell myself there are so many people around the world today who their only task is finding food and drink and will probably not last the day and this helps me to change my attitude towards the problems that I face.
May God give you courage and hope to face your problems.
God bless you all
I was picked on, beaten up and excluded from most people and things, throughout school and even today. People assume on me that I am bad, or ugly, or not good enough for their company. Many times I get cast off to the side or knocked out, for things or comments that I have not even done, although they are convinced that I committed wrong to them. Through out my life, I have been deeply misunderstood, been misguided and lied too. At the same time though, I have turned much of this pain and frustration, into fuel and ammunition to excell and to prove these rats wrong. That they do not have me or would they ever have me! Only God does! 'If we honorably and selflessly take serious pride within ourselves first and for those who are dear to us, our spirits are clean, pure and genuine, only then will we achieve greatest victory within life's long and turbulent journey.' Very powerful and very true vision came to me back on christmas 2002. This verse just flows out of me to share with others. Personally, I am still struggling to understand, why I am not accepted for who I am. Professionally It the opposite, I have always done well. I work very hard and I am dependable and I am a person of my word and integrity. Believe it or not we are connecting. May the Lord truly bless you and make his face to shine upon you and be gracious onto you! May the lord grant unto you his peace! You are coming inn and your going out, your laying down and your are rising up! Until you come to stand before Jesus on this special day, where there will be no sunsets or dawnings, he will be glorious onto you for all of your days. Please stay strong, be yourself and love yourself first and formost. I have learned this very tough lesson! People are not capable of dealing with too much, much less their own matters! Whether it is one day, 5 minuetes, of 5 of 50 years, each and every contact we encounter brings us closer to finding the special one. Please do not try to chase it down! We must let it come to us, by making our environment the reflection off of ourselves, not the other way around. Thank you dearly giving me this chance to share some wisdom and deep care with the special one as well as all of you. Through this, I have also helped myself to feel better about my life and directions in it. Kind regards to you all.
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Диф.автомат АД14 4Р 16А 30мА (ИЭК) 16/4/0,03
ТРАНСФОРМАТОР ТН67-220-400 ОЮ0.471.000ТУ
ПК45-2А Предохранитель
Плата печатная MI7.082.1661
РЕЗИСТОР С2-23 0,5022.000КОМ5%Б-Д
РЕЗИСТОР С2-23-0,125-56КОМ+-5%-А-В-В ОЖ0.467.081ТУ
АЛ305
ТРАНЗИСТОР МП113А ГОСТ14949-69
КЛАПАН 2,5 ДУ 40
КД524А
КОНДЕНСАТОР КД-1-М75-22ПФ+-10%-3 ОЖ0.460.098ТУ
ПЭ37-62(127в) ТУ16.523.622.82 Реле
Варикап 450-520pF КВ131А Q=130,
РЕЗИСТОР С2-33Н0,25 013.000КОМ5%А-В-В
СНП импорт.без надписи (похожи на СНП59-96Р-20-2)
Авт.выкл.АЕ2043-10 40А
19833601 DIN-рейка NS 35/336мм, для ТК2518/3652
ИЛЛЮМИНАТОР Е3-NОW-202-Y1
М/сх. 74640* 74HC640 SN74HC640N
М/сх 1533ЛА4 КР (74ALS10)
Конденсатор К53-14-15-32V
Т133-320-9 91г
РОЗЕТКА РГ1Н-3-5К ОЮ0.364.011ТУ
КТ8101А 97г
РЕЗИСТОР С2-29В-0,125-619ОМ+-0,25%-1,0-А ОЖ0.467.099ТУ
К52-5-10мк-70в-20%
ЧАШКА Б11 ЦА7.074.021-02
Прочие светильники
КОНДЕНСАТОРСГМ-2 Г 250В 000680.000 ПФ 2%
РП10-7л вилка синяя
СП5-2 150 5% 78г
ШР32У8ЭШ3 роз.каб. 79 г.
АОТ102В
2А547В-3
Транзистор IRFPS37N50A
КР1109КТ23 91г
ДЛ171-320-9 86г
ВИЛКА Р4ОП17ЭГ1 ГЕО.364.112ТУ
М/сх. PIC16C622A-JW
КР1533КП12 91г
ЦИРКУЛЯТОР ФЦ-В-1-29
К52-1МВ-25В-150мкФ-20%
РП10-7лов вилка
МБМ – 160 х 1
Конденсатор К10-17б*3пФ-М47 20%
КНОПКА НА3604008 НА0360011ТУ
Варикап 14-23pF КВ102Г Q=40, P=90mw
2П306А
NPN, 0,05A, 30V КТ342БМ транзистор P=0,25W, H=200, F=300MHZ 32 10
КС191Ж
ТРАНСФОРМАТОР ТАН43-127/220/50
КАПРОЛОН.ВТУЛКА202*140*400-181
ТРИОДЫ КТ-808А
2Т208М .01г Ni "5"
П2К-Н-4-15-2б Переключатель (04000)
РЕЗИСТОР С2-23 0,125002.700КОМ5%А-В-ВОЖО4
ТРАНЗИСТОР П-217А
ВАРИАТОР 13М61-101-03
DC-DC 15W 12/12V 1000mA ASD15H-12S 12 Ui=9,2-36V 38x46x13mm MeanWell
Амперметр Э365-1 1,5 0..6,5А 120х120х50
Резистор 0,25W* 180 кОм *CF25
ЗИП 646-90.607
РЕЗИСТОР МТ-0,25-В-240ОМ+-10% ОЖ0.467.108ТУ
РЕЗИСТОР С2-23-0,125-510ОМ+-5%-А-В-В ОЖ0.467.081ТУ
Разъем BLS-1 розетка на кабель
КОНДЕНСАТОРКТП-2ААН70 004700.000 ПФ80 20%
ППБ-2В-4.7К-5%
К71 – 7 – 250В х 8200 кф.
РЕЗИСТОР СП2-2А-0,5-2,2КОМ-16 ОЖ0.468.051ТУ
РЕЗИСТОР С2-33-0,25-15КОМ+-5%-А-В-В ОЖ0.467.093ТУ
Моточные изделия
БЛОК Б5130-3674УХЛ4
N-кан 0,02A,20V КП306А транзистор P=0,15VA, S=4ma/V 32 10 два затвора
Brilux
РЕЗИСТОР С2-33-0,5-10КОМ+-5%-А-В-В ОЖО.467.093ТУ
РРМ47-102-Ш1В2В
РЕЗИСТОР С2-23 0,25 068.000КОМ5%А-Д
К53-14-32в-1,5мкф 20-30%Конденсатор
КМ555ЛЛ1 микросхема
140УД2
Транзистор PNP 60V,0,5A 2SA984 P=0,6VA, H=60, F=100MHZ TO-92 (2SA817,2SA953,2SA720)
РЕЗИСТОР С2-29В0,5619.000 ОМ0,1%Б
МИКРОСХЕМА КР559ИП2 БК0.348.577-1ТУ
РЕЗИСТОР С2-23-0,25-51ОМ+-5%-А-В-В ОЖ0.467.081ТУ
КТ209А
ВИЛКА 2РМ33КПЭ20Ш1В1 ГЕО.364.126ТУ
М/сх 155ТМ2 КМ
Діод 2 А 518 А 4
РЕЗИСТОР С2-10-0,25-8,35ОМ+-0,5% ОЖ0.467.072ТУ
ОСРШ2П-3Ш5ТШ2Т-В вилка
ЭЛ.ДВ. АИР 100L2 У3
Транзистор PNP 40V,1A 2SA934 P=0,75VA, H=80, F=150MHZ TO-92
РЕЗИСТОР ОМЛТ-0,5-В-24ОМ+-10% ОЖ0.467.107ТУ
Конденсатор 0805 0,47 mkF Y5V 16V
РЕЗИСТОР ОМЛТ-0,25-В-82ОМ+-5% ОЖ0.467.107ТУ
РЕЗИСТОР ОМЛТ-0,5-В-36КОМ+-10% ОЖ0.467.107ТУ
КОРПУС ВЕНТИЛЯТОРА 19ЦС-48
PNP, 0,3A, 30V П607 транзистор P=1,5BA, H=20, F=60MHZ 32 10
ТИРИСТОР КУ 203Б
КОНДЕНСАТОРК53-4 16В000002.200МКФ 20%
249ЛП1А бел кер 85-86г.
СП5-35Б 15КОМ 10% В0
Конденсатор К10-17б*4,7mkF X7R
ДИОДЫ Д229А
2А602Б 81г "5"
СУ АСДГ
СП3-19 100к 20% 0,5Вт "А"
МИКРОСХЕМА0000132РУ4АБКО347211-04ТУ
ВАЛ 503 425-365
ПЛАТА ПЕЧАТНАЯ ЕФ6.772.544 -
РЕЗИСТОР С2-33Н0,125015.000 ОМ5%А-В
ШТ.РАЗЪЕМ.ШР28П7НШ9 РОЗЕТКА
504УН2Б
РОЗЕТКА 2РТ32П10ЭГ1-А ГЕ0.364.118ТУ
Сердечник МТЧ55?(60)19х11х7
РЕЗИСТОР С2-29В0,125001.600КОМ0,5%1,0-АОЖ
К10-47МАС МПО 500В 39ПФ 20%
ШР20ПК4НШ8 "5" вил.каб. 2003г
2РМТ22КПЭ10Ш1В1В
589АП26 91г "5"
ППБ-3Б-47 ОМ-5%
164ЛИ1 низ Au
СИГНАЛИЗАТОР СУС-15
МТД4/3-80-12 модуль
ВЛ320-9 диод лавинный
ПРЕДОХРАНИТЕЛЬ ПК-45-0,15А АГО481501ТУ
1Т308В
ТУМБЛЕР ТВ2-1 УС0.360.075ТУ
ОНЦ-РГ-09-32/30в1-б
ДОМКРАТ Ч.829-003.О11
ДЛ161-200-10 91г "к.хв."
РЕЗИСТОР С2-10-0,125-81,6ОМ+-0,5%-В ОЖ0.467.072ТУ
КУ202Ж 81г
2Д906БОС
РЕЗИСТОР ППБ-50Е-100ОМ+-10% ОЖ0.468.512ТУ
РЕЗОНАТОР РГ-07-7ДУ-4330КГЦ-БВ ШЖ0338067Т
РЕЗИСТОР С2-33Н-0,25-8,2КОМ+-5%-А-Д-В ОЖ0.467.093ТУ
КОНДЕНСАТОРКСОТ-1Г 250В 000390.000 ПФ 10%
Авт.выкл.АЕ2056МП-100 16А
Резистор ППБ-50Д*33 Ом
811ФЕ1-02072
КТ316А
НКГ-1,5 (KCPL 1,5) 10.03г
КЭМ6А
-прерыватель GP1S23 I=20mA, P=75mW 5x5,2x4,2mm оптотранзист SHARP
Д161-320-12
М/сх 1401УД2Б КР (LM124)
БАРОГРАФ АНЕРОИДНЫЙ "М-22"
СОЕДИНИТЕЛЬ ВВТ10БШ-600 ГБ0.485.011ТУ
ЗИП ТХК 1172П
М/сх. U2510B
КУ103А
ПЛАТА ПЕЧАТНАЯ ЕФ6.772.908 -
РЭС64А РС4.569.724 пасп.061 Реле 87г
К10-17 470пФ 50В 10% М47 "Б"
М/сх 501ИВ1П К
РЕЗИСТОР С1-40,125006.800КОМ Б-25-5-А 5%
КП350Б 91г
РЕЗИСТОР С2-23 0,125051.000 ОМ5%А-ВОЖО467
2А518Б-4
Фильтр ФП1П61-01
РЕЗИСТОР ОМЛТ-0,5-В-24ОМ+-5% ОЖ0.467.107ТУ
РЕЗИСТОР С2-29В-0,5-6,81КОМ+-0,5%-1,0-А ОЖ0.467.099ТУ
К10-17А-М750-0,011МКФ 20%
РОЗЕТКА РГ11(7Г2Т)-В ОЮ0.364.008ТУ
588ВА1
СНП58-32/95*9Р-20-В
РЕЗИСТОР МЛТ0,25 82 ом
РОЗЕТКА ШР48П2НШ9
РЕЗИСТОР С2-29В-0,25-180ОМ+-1%-1,0-А ОЖ0.467.099ТУ
ПАТРОН В15D-42МН УХЛ2 ТУ16-545.353-81
Резистор С2-29В-0,125*51,1 Ом
2Т903Б Транзистор 1984г.
Амперметр 200/5 А Э8032
ТРИОД КТ-814
РЕЗИСТОР ОМЛТ-0,5-В-6,2ОМ+-5% ОЖ0.467.107ТУ
275ЕН9А
142ЕН9А
Станок д/отр.плавн.А8-ИТ 2Р
Г4 белые
ЭЛ.ДВ. В71В6 0,55 1000 ОБ/МИН
2У201Л
EPC2TI32N микросхема, шт
КТ920Б 85г
МБМ 0.25МК 160В 10%
К10-17А-Н90-0,01МКФ
К10-7В 82ПФ 10%
КР574УД1А 90г
СОЕДИНТЕЛЬ РШАГ ПБ-20
РЕЗИСТОР МЛТ-0,25-56ком -10%
К75-10 0.68МК 250В 20%
БЛОК Б19-1-1-3КОМ+-5% ОЖ0.206.018ТУ
Манометр ДМ2005Сг 0...4 кгс/см2
10883.1 Клеммн. PZK3011/3/7,5/7,62 -KD 3-хконт. на п/п CONTA-CLIP
СТОЛ К АЦПУ
ТРАНСФОРМАТОР ТН47-220-400 ОЮ0.471.000ТУ
КОНДЕНСАТОРКД1М75 000027.000 ПФ 10% 3ОЖО4
КОНДЕНСАТОРК10-171АП33000002.200 ПФ 20% В
2Т208Ж
ЛАМПОДЕРЖАТЕЛЬ НА4.816.008СП НА0.481.003ТУ
АД-5А
Винт М3х12кр
Винт М3х25 цилиндр,резьба на 4мм
Вольтметр М4258 1,5 0..30 В
ТРАНЗИСТОР КТ3120А ААО339111ТУ
К118УД1В
Реле тепловое 1R1/1 6,4-10,5А
ППБ-2А-4.7К-10%
154УД1A
М/сх. 4035 (К561ИР9) CD4035BE DIP16 TI
С2-23 240 10% 0,25Вт
РЕЗИСТОР ПЭВ-3-27ОМ+-10% ОЖ0.467.546ТУ
ДРОССЕЛЬ ВЫСОКОЧАСТОТНЫЙ ДМ-0,2-50 В ГИ0.477.005ТУ
1206 X7R 1000 pF +- 10% 1000V
РЕЗИСТОР С2-23-0,5-2КОМ+-5%-А-В-В ОЖ0.467.081ТУ
КОНДЕНСАТОР К41-1А-2,5КВ-0,5МКФ+-10% ОЖ0.462.105ТУ
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