Psycho Loon!! Weight Issues!!
Hi there
I am feeling very sorry for myself!! I feel like i'm going crazy and have found this website quite by accident so do excuse me if my writing is a little off the wall or I babble on too much!!
Your stories are comforting and I thought maybe someone could help me.
I am a 31 year old happily married mother of one. My home life is great but I really am having a tough time with my self esteem at the moment. I am 5' 6" and weigh 11stone 5lbs which is not hugely overweight but is overweight. The worse thing is I am an aerobics instructor (part time) and accountant (part time) and I need to look 'fit'. I feel so fat and ugly that I am in a vicious circle of weightwatchers by day - chocolate by night and I just can't seem to break it. I feel so down about myself that I even feel like the cashiers in Sainsbury's are scrutinising my trolley for chocolate and crisps and thinking that I shouldn't buy them!!
I feel like the girls in my class think i'm fat even though I know i'm a good instructor I do know that.
I feel guilty because there is so much more to life that I should be worrying about (my aunt has cancer) but I just can't lift myself.
I used to be described as 'happy go lucky' now I would say i am thoughtful and far too sensitive!
Does anyone else ever feel like this?
Story shared: 13/09/2006 16:21:05
Comments
Well it looks like I have been beaten to the post as adding on the first comment to a story, which is great news as clearly this site is being viewed alot, and I am so pleased that Vicki has made the first comment.
As I hope you have read in my story I am a personal trainer, and this was done after losing a lot of weight. I always feel like people are judging me on my weight however I also know that they are not as well. Half of it is a confidence issue. Clearly you are very good at your job.
Regarding your diet I do personally believe that if 90% of your diet is good then 10% of sin is no bad thing. After all we have to live our lives...
Your aunt would not want you to be unhappy, and just remember that life is short. You have clearly a good life, and just make every minute count. Stop worrying about other peoples opinions, and learn to love yourself. Corny I know but as Vicki and I said in this site, your are unique. Just be yourself and dont worry.
Best wishes to you my friend, CJ
As a person, I can relate to your hurt, but as a man I really don't understand
the female obsession with losing weight. You see, sexy always beats pretty. You might have words like fat, and podgy, in your mind. I use the words inviting, sexy, voluptuous.
There are many outlets for men who love bigger women. Although, you can never please everyone whatever you look like ( I know men who found Marilyn Monroe too fake).
Are you not transferring other problems onto the weight issue, using it as a basket for all your eggs? I apologise if I'm wrong there. But whatever the reasons for your hurt, I wish you and your family all the best, and if its not too forward, a hug from a stranger.
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